Raising Me: From Pre-K to Summer Camp

Let me say this first, I am raising a male version of myself. I cannot believe how strong and powerful genes are in the business of family lineage. I know that nature and nurture run neck-in-neck in their ability to shape and mold a child. But this boy is undeniably mine.

At first glance, its obvious that Ellington looks a lot like me. We have the same chocolate drop skin, big brown eyes (with long lashes), a laugh that can cause a troll-who-lives-under-the-bridge to smile, compassion for others, and charisma for days. On a much deeper level, Ellington carries my trait of appearing like a fearless extrovert to the masses but holding close to his chest introvert-like tendencies. So it is wild to watch and a roller-coaster ride to parent a smaller, male version of myself.

This past week my overly-articulate, eager, polite, nerdy, and high energy kid made the transition from his small group Pre-K class to the daycare’s Summer Camp program. Summer Camp is great in theory....trips to parks, museums, the zoo, pools, and other kid-friendly adventures. In practice, Summer Camp involves the unknown variable of new kids from outside the regularly scheduled programming. There are new kids present who don’t know and love my kid. There are new kids who may be a bit more “thug-a-licious” than my kid. (and shout out to the kid “who-ain’t-never-scared...but that ain’t my kid)

So, I pick Ellington up from his first day of summer camp and he runs to give me a big hug. He begins to tell me about his time at summer camp. In his kid-like five year old recollection of events, it sounded like some kid was making fun of him by copying him (aka - repeating everything he was saying). I thought to myself, “Oh, that’s OK, kids will be kids.” I laughed with his teacher about the ways in which Ellington may need to learn to be verbally aggressive to make sure that people understand his space and his boundaries. In other words, Ellington will have to continue to be comfortable speaking The Queens English while maintaining a healthy understanding of language you need to use to “keep it real” with folks. (This is a skill a I had to learn quickly and have mastered ever since that day in kindergarten when I had to tell a boy about himself → yes, that is another story for another day)

But you know that’s not the end of this story. As it turns out, this same kid (whom Ellington described by clothing and complexion) also hit him in the face with a ball... on purpose. Really, really, REALLY!!!!!! My lioness tendencies began to stir like a might force. Who was this kid? Did he hit my kid just because we keep it black and nerdy in our house? Elly, did you jab him when no one was looking? Ughhhhhh!!!!! Is this how it gets started???? Where is justice for this reckless behavior!!!!!!??????

I had a so many emotions because watching my kid use reason over force is another reminder that this boy is truly mine. He told the director of the camp to tell the other child’s parents not to let that boy have any TV, video games, movies or toys for the evening because of his behavior. We smiled because we all know that Ellington is walking to the beat of a different drummer. As Elly recounted the event at least five more times before we ended the day, I just shook my head because I know that this is more than the beginning of Summer Camp. This is the beginning of teaching Ellington how to navigate in a world where your beliefs and your practices may be different from the world around you. And as crazy as this world can be, it is key to be yourself and to live up to the standard of the higher calling.

As we got Elly ready for bed, I asked him what I could do for him to make him feel better. He asked for a kiss on his cheek, which helped. And then he asked if I could pray for him before he went to bed and he would repeat. So, living up to the higher standard, I tucked him in bed, knelt beside him, touched his cheek and prayed....we gave thanks for another day. We prayed for his cheek to feel better. We prayed that God would help us (yes, us) to forgive that other boy. And we prayed for a better tomorrow.

Wow...from Pre-K to Summer Camp to real life in one day. And to think, this is just the beginning. Stay saved, Ellington. It’s a life-long journey.

A.